Annoyed.

I once read a definition of insanity which stated that the insane person tended to think that they were sane whilst everyone else around them was mad.

In that case, I am truly as crazy as a sack full of snakes.

I have been working from home today in order to take delivery of 3 consignments that will become my new bathroom. I was quite pleased that I had managed to line them all up, hence only spend 1 day tied to the house. But then...

• #1 arrives. Marvellous
• Additionally, I am in the process of making a wee change to my mortgage - called up to chase them for the third time in a week, and yet again someone has forgotten to tick the same p1ssing little box in their system which means it's not getting processed. Of course, they've all said "I've fixed that for you now - someone from team x will call you back tomorrow". I'm not holding my breath.
  
• It gets to 5pm, so I decide to call up and chase the others.
  
• #2: The courier has taken it back to their depot because of 'insufficient address', which is strange considering that the exact same combination of numbers and letters adorns almost every item that comes through my door, most of which is junk. To add insult to injury, they close at 5 so I can't let them know of their incompetence.
  
• #3 - had "no record of a delivery date", despite the fact I had the f***ing confirmation letter in my hand. Apparently a 'supervisor' (probably some spotty little tw*t who joined the YTS a few years before the rest of them) will call me back.
  

So, let's name and shame. Co-operative Bank, Parcel Force and MFI (I swore I'd never use them again after the kitchen fiasco... this time I mean it), please stand up and make your way to the wall where I will thrash you to within an inch of your life using your own shoes, and then ask your feelings on voluntary euthanasia.

I thought I was crap at my job, but in relative terms, I am mildly uncertain in a couple of small areas of inconsequence. I'll accept that the mortgage stuff is perhaps a little trickier than, say, patting your head whilst rubbing your stomach. But how hard can it be to put something in a f***ing van?

That's the doorbell. Probably men in white coats.