Bah, Humbug!

I have a hangover. Not a mild headache caused by too much red wine, but the rip-roaring kind where you feel like a backstreet doctor performed a stomach transplant overnight, and your body is not just rejecting the contents of the stomach, it's rejecting the entire damn organ. Yes, I know, it's my own stupid fault, but even Jesus was fond of the odd glass - why else would he transform the water? - and he is kinda to blame. You see, I've been wearing black all week in mourning of the death of English cricket, at a time of year when I traditionally feel a tad blue anyway - the festive season.

Usually I cope by giving my body a month-long taster of how it would feel if I were to descend into alcoholism - like a torch without a battery, if you're interested - and to an extent this year has been no different. I don't object to the concept of Christmas, honestly I don't, it's just the enforced execution. Really, if I wanted to sit around a long table wearing a silly hat, I'd rather go to Oktoberfest. And if I wanted a fat man in a red suit to slide down my chimney, I'd go see a shrink.

I've no intention of getting all "Bah, Humbug!" about it, as the fact I was with a few close friends last night in order to have a Christmas drink & exchange gifts hopefully displays. I just wish that there wasn't so much expectation around it - thou shalt go to the office party and make a tit of yourself dancing with the boss after too many babychams. In vino, veritas, as the saying goes...

My other major gripe is that people use Christmas as an excuse for all the things they haven't done all year. If you want to buy your wife a gift, why wait? If you genuinely want to keep in touch with someone, an annual card saying "we must meet up in the new year" just doesn't cut it; pick up the phone, drop me an email, send me a text - it couldn't actually be any easier, could it? And I don't even want to start on new year's resolutions, other than to say if you want to change something, just f***ing do it. Do it now. Why wait another fortnight? Take control of yourselves!!

This evening, I am going to catch up with an old friend, not because it's Christmas, but because he happens to be in town. And even though we're meeting in a pub, I'll be sipping a soft one, not because of my hangover, but because I've decided that I tend to drink a wee bit more than I should and need to cut back.

Finally, take care out there - Big JD was mugged a couple of nights ago, and they even took his shoes.

Must have been a hefty fella to squeeze into his size twelves.