Equally Cursed & Blessed

Tomorrow, I will board a helicopter & head offshore to one of the oldest north sea oil rigs (let's call it 'B' for the sake of semi-anonymity) for the first time. I'm looking forward to it, out of curiosity more than anything else, but my feelings are definitely mixed - Not because I won't be able to post for a few days, but because 5 years ago, I would have said I would never do it. Simply not interested. Not for me.

And now? Well, there's the obvious reason - it's my job to occasionally go. Part of a job that I'm not sure I want to do, working for people I don't entirely trust. But still, these metal islands are arguably one of man's finest engineering triumphs, producing the lifeblood of many economies. Causer of war. Bringer of warmth. Greenhouse gas villain. I think it's fair to say that oil is equally cursed & blessed, but nevertheless I work to produce one of the most fundamental things in your life, whether you like to admit that or not. So why do find it difficult to take pride in what I do?

For a change, I agree with something Bush said - that we need to end our addiction to oil. But replace it with what? Alternatives have a part to play, but they are only capable of incremental differences; the only technology that can genuinely have an impact is cold nuclear fusion - and we don't really know how to do that yet. So why aren't I working on it, something that could actually change the world? For starters, I chose the wrong things to study when I was 17 to follow that path, but how much better would we all feel in the morning if we got out of bed, knowing that going to work meant taking steps towards something so positive? Is it actually selfish to want to do that sort of thing to make sure I feel better on Monday mornings? I know that my job is important, but I struggle to do it with a clear conscience.

In the next few days, when you turn on your heating or fire up the car, think of me on that oil rig. I'll be thinking of you.